Funny isn't it. Despite protestations from just about everyone you speak to that they don't really care about Eurovision and it really doesn't matter, the Song For Europe selection process appears to have become the big talking point following the weekend. Like it or loathe it, we all have an opinion. Would you really expect me to be any different?
I confess I didn't see all of the show myself but even before it happened had to marvel at the parade of acts that had been lined up to perform. This is the problem the Eurovision Song Contest finds itself with as far as this country is concerned. After seeing Gemini flush their potential careers down the crapper in 2003, the number of up and coming acts with any ability who want to risk that kind of exposure is pretty much zero. Remove from the equation established acts who for the same reasons are unwilling to risk their reputation in the contest and you are left with what we ended up with on Saturday night - desperate hasbeens attempting to resurrect their careers with one final desperate throw of the dice.
How else did we end up with the spectacle of Justin Hawkins, Big Brovaz, Liz McLarnon and a warbling Brian Harvey, all scrabbing desperately at the toilet pan of fame before the final flush sends them swirling to oblivion. None of the ropey performances sounded like winners, although they surely weren't helped by the atrocious production values of the show which meant hardly anyone had a working microphone.
In the end it came down to two. In an ideal world, Cyndi would have run out the winner. OK so her voice wasn't quite up to the high notes the song called for but she would have perfected that with more rehearsal. The song itself was as derivative as they come (and I can't have been the only one who started singing Rod Stewart's "Rhythm Of My Heart" when the line in the chorus about "where the ocean meets the sky" came around) but just might have tugged at enough heartstrings across Europe.
Instead the voters went for what in retrospect was the obvious winner. The returning Scooch with a song that cranked the camp meter up to 11 and which was, let's be frank, 70% dance routine and 30% chorus. In a sense it was classic Eurovision as a boy-girl-boy-girl act automatically conjures up fond memories of Brotherhood Of Man and Bucks Fizz. Quite whether this is really where the voting audiences across Europe are actually at is another matter altogether. The new Scooch were the same as the old Scooch from 2000. Seven years on pop music has moved on a long way since they stood a brief chance of fame by being Steps-lite. Let's face it we went for high camp last year with Daz Sampson and the expected triumph turned into another miserable night in the voting.
There was a part of me that was pleased that the return of Scooch was greeted with such enthusiasm. Back in their brief first flowering of fame I had a soft spot for them as for all the naffness of their cheesy smiling image and the blatant desire of producers Mike Stock and Matt Aitken to ape what their former cohort Pete Waterman had done with Steps, the records they were given to sing actually weren't half bad. Indeed looking back, had we been entering "More Than I Needed To Know" as a Eurovision entry at the time we probably would have stormed it. One former colleague of mine was fond of recounting how he was at one time in line to join the group only to be rejected at one of the final auditions. Looking back I think he felt he had a lucky escape.
So let's set the wayback machine to 2000 and dig out some old commentaries on Scooch's greatest hits… once upon a time these guys were expected to end up massive
November 6th 1999 - When My Baby (Number 24)
Introducing Natalie, Caroline, Russ and David, collectively known as Scooch and the latest Mike Stock and Matt Aitken pop creation. Their debut single bubbles along very pleasantly with an infectious party groove that you would expect to give the likes of Steps and S Club 7 a run for their money. In time that may happen but for the moment this is a rather understated chart debut for the foursome and possibly not quite what their creators had hoped for. Still, give them time. Even Steps were only able to creep into the Top 20 first time out and there is surely room for Steps-lite in the grand scheme of things isn't there?
January 22nd 2000 - More Than I Needed To Know (Number 5)
Well it's official. There is indeed room in the charts for both Steps and Scooch. The foursome first charted back in November last year with 'When My Baby', which could only reach Number 29. Second time around they do much better and have a massive hit on their hands with a single that confirms their musical path as the same Abba-inspired pop which has helped Steps to a string of massive hits over the past couple of years. Dare I point out that More Than I Needed To Know is actually a far better pop record than anything on Steps' current album and fully deserves its place in the Top 5. It is probably pertinent to note that Scooch are produced by none other than Mike Stock and Matt Aitken, the former associates and recent litigants of Pete Waterman, who of course is one of the creators of Steps. Funny how that works out isn't it?
May 6th 2000 - The Best Is Yet To Come (Number 12)
It seems so unfair to go on referring to Scooch as Steps-lite but at the end of the day that is quite unashmedly what they are and in truth they sound fantastic for it. Chart-wise the foursome appear to blow hot and cold, hitting Number 29 with their debut When My Baby last November and then charging to Number 5 with More Than I Needed To Know in January this year. This third single then falls between the two extremes, tucking in nicely just outside the Top 10. Not bad, but you could have been forgiven for expecting this piece of euro-friendly pop to land safely inside the 10. Maybe the inclusion of their version of Maybe Tomorrow (aka the theme from The Littlest Hobo and the NatWest TV ads) was an idea more naff than inspired.
August 5th 2000 - For Sure (Number 15)
Whilst we are on the subject of pop acts who haven't quite clicked with the public, Scooch are still merrily treading their chosen furrow of being Steps' own living, breathing tribute band. Mike Stock and Matt Aitken's creations were last in the chart in May when 'The Best Is Yet To Come' reached Number 12 and now they too have a third Top 20 hit with their fourth single release. 'For Sure' may well rank as their catchiest release to date, even if radio appears to have largely ignored it, and you never know - with a worringly large number of people just waiting for the Steps bubble to burst and for the group to finally explode, Scooch are in prime position if the nation decides it needs a replacement.
Alas for them the nation didn't and they weren't, their album stiffed when released a few weeks later. The above quotes confirm that I did indeed have a soft spot for them. Bubblegum pop doesn't offend me at all, it is after all what made me start loving music when I was but a mere child. Somehow though I can't see the success that eluded them at the turn of the decade being any easier to achieve now, Eurovision or no Eurovision.
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